Life in Digital Format

Current Mood: amused

Dear Systems Analyst,

I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my
program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the
new program began Unexpected child processing and also took
up a lot of space and valuable resources. This wasn’t
mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0
installs itself into all other programs and launches itself
during Systems initialization, where it monitors all other
system activities. Applications such as “Boys’
Night Out 2.5 ” and “Clubbing 5.3″ no longer
run, and crash the system whenever selected. Attempting to
operate selected “Sunday Football 6.3″ always
fails and “Sunday Shopping 7.1″ runs instead. I
cannot seem to keep “Wife 1.0″ in the background
whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications.
I am thinking of going back to “Girlfriend 7.0″,
but un-installing doesn’t work on this program.

Can you please help?

AND THIS IS WHAT THE ANALYST SAID:

Dear Customer,

This is a very common problem resulting from a basic
misunderstanding. Many customers upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0
to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES AND
ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM. Actually, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING
SYSTEM DESIGNED BY IT’S CREATOR TO RUN EVERY PROGRAM
WITHIN IT’S DOMAIN. You are unlikely to be able to
purge Wife 1.0 and still Convert back to Girlfriend 7.0, as
Wife 1.0 was not designed to do this and it is impossible to
uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the system
once it is installed.

Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife
2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See manual
under Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors’ Fees).
Having “Wife 1.0″ installed myself, I recommend
you keep it installed and deal with the difficulties as best
as you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you
think has caused them, You must run the
C:\APOLOGIZE\FORGIVE\ME program and avoid
attempting to use the *Esc-Key. It may be necessary to run
C:\APOLOGIZE\FORGIVE\ME a number of times, and
eventually hope that the operating system will return to
normal. Wife 1.0, although a very high maintenance
program, can be very rewarding. To get the most out of it,
consider buying additional software such as “Flowers
2.0″ and “Chocolates 5.0″ or
“HUGS\KISSES 600.0″ or “SEX 500.0″ or
“TENDERNESS\UNDERSTANDING 1000.0″, or even
“C:\EATINGOUT\WITHOUT.THE.KIDS 7.2″ (if
child processing has already started).

DO NOT under any circumstances install “Secretary 2.1
Short Skirt Version” (any version), as this is not a
supported application for Wife 1.0 and the system will
almost certainly crash.

BEST OF LUCK!
Your Systems Analyst
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Current Mood: loved & nerdy & relaxed

SO Steve got an email at work the other week about this adorable girl. We had been talking about getting another dog, a friend for Techno and she was FREE to a good home and we won the bid! As in, her foster family picked us out of 8 people who were interested. I instantly loved her mentality–as Steve would say, she’s “calm as a hindu cow.” Definately my mentality.

Needless to say, I claimed her as my doggie that very night we came home. And thank goodness we have a friend for Techno now. Speaking of, he is still crazy as ever. We bought this device called a Spray Commander for him. Since we have been through training books and classes, a shock collar, and a choke collar–none which really worked–except for the training did help some. When Techno is worked up though there is just no getting through to this dog. Anyway, the Spray Commander is a collar they wear and it has a remote. When u press a button on it, it squirts a bit of citronella scented water in the air. Its supposed to distract and deter the dog from whatever negative behavior they may be engaging in. Well it worked for all of two days, and Techno is becomming pretty immune to it. Also, each fill of the collar only has 25 sprays, and we are easily filling it once a day. Needless to say, we have 30 days to return it for any reason (thank you PetsMart!) and I just might be doing so, seeing it put us out $100!

Anyway, here is the last pic of our poodle-doodles, who will always behave as long as there is TREATS involved!

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Current Mood: chipper

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